My new physician has referred the alien to see a new surgeon. The appointment is this coming Tuesday September 15th.
Apparently the new surgeon is recommended as a great listener and will not stop until the problem is fixed. My physician has already called him, and has given him a heads up on what I have been going through.
Cross your fingers and toes!
So, I’m about to update on three different topics, and I will do them separately.
Reagan, my adorable three year old, had her first speech therapy session on Wednesday. She has the language, well above her age group, but her articulation is a concern. She has been diagnosed with a Bifid Uvula. She sounds nasally and misses a lot of consonants. She also speaks very softy, unless she is saying NO.
Her first session went great with Miss Diane. But there is a major concern about structural issues of her soft palate. So we are trying to get an appointment with The Texas Children’s Cleft Palate Team for an evaluation. I am very worried about her needing surgery, but we need to figure this out or the speech therapy may not work.
Right now she will be attending therapy with Miss Diane every Wednesday at $50 a pop. Hopefully we can get her seen by the team soon, so we can re-evaluate her needs. It breaks my heart to see her frustrated at not being understood. Even though Mark and I have gotten pretty good at understanding her, we need other people to understand. She will be starting school in two years, and she is such a charismatic child. I hope and pray we will be able to help her accomplish this without pain as much as possible.
Some highlights from Wednesday September 9, 2009
1. Blew feathers off a table.
2. Held her nose as she said bubbles and puppy. Holding her nose, the b’s and p’s were said perfectly.
3. Blew bubbles through a straw in a glass of water. Held mirror under nose as she blew. The mirror fogged up. (Try this at home, there should be no fog.)
Today I went to a new doctor, regular physician. My blood pressure is up just a bit, wasn’t surprised. First he explained the practice, then asked me what my biggest concern was at this time. The alien. We talked briefly about it, and he said we would go back and discuss it more in detail. Then he rattled off symptoms and told me to stop him if I had one. Generalized stuff, like what you normally check yes or no on a new patient sheet. So, I stopped him on hot flashes, night sweats, chest pains, back pain, bowel issues, etc. While we were discussing each one, and me relaying my pre- menopause screen, my cholesterol, my anxiety, the back pain and the alien, I saw something for the first time from a doctor. (Yeah that was a run on sentence.)
Instead of looking at each symptom and trying to figure it out, he looked at all the symptoms, piecing things together. First the back pain, bowel issues, fear, body aches, the alien all seemed to go together. Then he said are you sure you don’t have more anxiety than just every now and then when something like the alien arrives. I drive on the feeders, I don’t use elevators, I avoid bridges, avoid driving in storms. He thinks that maybe the night sweats, hot flashes are also symptoms of anxiety. Maybe instead of having something to settle a panic attack, maybe we should try something that would prevent attacks from evening happening. He also said I may have a touch of OCD. Great! Labels. I have to admit it has been a struggle but I have been dealing with it, which in turn stresses me more out and just increases the anxiety. Like, I may not have even had what we thought might have been a mini stroke if I was treated for the anxiety. Of course, I voiced my concern, about feeling like a zombie on drugs. I don’t like it and would rather have bursts of anxiety in between great times. He said that is not the goal. A medicine that works should not make you feel like a zombie. We discussed my post pardum depression, and he told me to stop associating that experience with treating my anxiety. He told me to get all the prescription names from my previous doctor so we could evaluate and definitely not use those. I have an appointment with him next Friday and we will work on the anxiety. Although I probably will never be able to bungee jump.
The alien. He believed me. I told him in detail what I have been going through for a year and the surgery. He was appalled at the previous surgeon , even my previous physician for that matter. We couldn’t get it to go out in his office, but we tried. I even moved furniture around in his office. He said I need to see a surgeon to get to the bottom of it and fix it. He said he knows a great surgeon who not only is excellent in his surgeries, but listens to his patients. He won’t stop until the patient feels good and the problem is fixed. He will call the surgeon to let him know what has been going on and I will try to get a copy of the original MRI and make an appointment.
Basically I still don’t know exactly what kind of hernia I have or if there are also other issues, but I feel like I have someone on my side and won’t blow me off.
I called my previous physician this morning at 11:17 A.M. and left a message via voice mail to his medical assistant. I requested a list of previous prescribed anxiety and depression medications and a copy of the MRI of the umbilical hernia. I stated that I need this as soon as possible. Call me back and let me know what I need to do to obtain these items. It is 7:52 pm, no call back yet. I have a feeling I should go to the practice with written request and hand it to him tomorrow.
I got a ton of blood taken from me today, it would have been so much better if it was by Eric Northman in True Blood. Just saying.
One day at a time. At least now I’m moving forward and not two steps back.
Yes! First, a little back story.
March 2004 – Pregnant
December 2004 – Rylee born
August 2005 – DNC at 13 weeks due to no heartbeat.
September 2005 – Pregnant
June 2006 – Reagan born
January 2007 – Pregnant with identical twins
May – June 2007 – Four amniotic reductions due to TTTS
July 3, 2007 – Emergency C-section Madison and Jordan born.
Okay so lets get this straight. I am 5’2″ tall. Petite frame. Normal weight about 105lbs. I went from 105lbs to 25 – 45+ weight gain back and forth from March 2004 to July 2007.
My lower back has been killing me for years. Doctors said I needed to strengthen my stomach muscles to help with the back pain. So in 2008 I joined 24 hr fitness and got a trainer. She worked my butt off. My lower back pain persisted. and to top it off my belly bulged out further. Then the kicker, something alien popped out of my belly. It took my breath away. It always reduced, but started happening more and more frequently. I finally went to the doctor around September 2008. He said he thought I had an umbilical hernia, and pointed to where the hole was. It seemed odd to me that my intestines did not pop out in that location, but what do I know about hernias and abdominal anatomy. So, he ordered a MRI. It came back as an umbilical hernia right where he said. I needed surgery. Well, I put it off till July of this year. I was worried about surgery, I was worried about my kids and the limitations I would be forced to abide . (Note: I stopped working out the minute it was diagnosed.)
July, I meet with the surgeon who looked at my MRI from September 2008, and he did a laparoscopic hernia repair with mesh. The worst pain!!!! Anyway I got through it, and I was released to resume normal activity.
A few weeks ago I was doing some crunches and POP! Same area as before. About a week later I was sliding across the console to the passenger seat in my truck. POP again. More intense this time. Okay, time to call the surgeon.
I make an appointment. Basically he says, the hernia he repaired was fine. He didn’t feel any holes, and unless I can make it pop out in front of him on demand there was nothing he could do. He refused to do another MRI.
Yes, I cried all the way home. I realize I am typing this out as bluntly as possible, but it has been drama, disbelief, and fear for me since.
The surgeon blew me off as did my family physician. So the logical thing to do is book an appointment with a new doctor. Definitely not one from the same clinic as the former two. My appointment is scheduled for September 9th, a year ago from original diagnosis.
In the mean time, I have been a Google maniac trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I have severe back pain. I’m afraid to have a bowel movement. Afraid to move the wrong way. Everything points to a hernia. On another note, I discovered a term called diastasis recti. What a shock! I did the self test and my abdominal muscle separation is about 4 fingers wide. No one! No one! No one has ever told me I had this!!!! To top it off, the exercises the doctors and personal trainer had me do was the worst possible moves to make with this condition. It makes it worse.
Every night I sit with a heating pad on my lower back. Last night, I tried to reposition my self and pop. Four times in a row. I got up to pee and it popped out again. So now I have severe back pain. My abdomen hurts.I’m afraid to move, I’m afraid to poop, I’m afraid to pee. I can’t sleep on my back – I can’t breathe. I can’t sleep on my tummy – the pressure hurts too much. I can’t sleep on either side – it feels like my guts are falling out.
Can you tell I am beyond frustrated? September 9th can not come soon enough. I will not stop until I find a doctor who will fix me. I am 5’2″ tall, 112lbs, I look about three months pregnant, and I have an alien in my belly.
So operation sanity is at a stand still. I found a quote by Wayne W. Dyer.
He says ” It has been estimated that the average person has 60,000 seperate thoughts each and every day. The problem with this is that we have the same 60,000 thoughts today that we had yesterday, and we’ll repeat them again tomorrow.”
I realized that all those thoughts pinging through my head are usually about getting out of this rut. I need to do this, I need to conquer this, I want peace and happiness, and I want to laugh. I realize that I need to change those thoughts to state that I am doing such and such, I am conquering this, I feel happy because… I’m laughing.
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. “
Albert Einstein
I need to stop thinking and talking and start doing. I know I need to start loving the ride.
I have a second hernia, maybe a Spigelian hernia. I “knew” it was there. When I went for my MRI, they said I had a hernia at my belly button. So of course, that one was repaired. I went along with it, although it seemed like, where my guts where popping out wasn’t matching with said hole. But hey, they saw the umbilical hernia. It should be noted that a Spigelian hernia is hard to see, and I never could get the hernia to pop out in front of my doctor nor the surgeon. So now I need another surgery, another slicing, another scar and screw trying to get motivated to exercise again. I don’t want it to strangulate. Who will do a six pack bionic belly for me?
Took hubby’s truck in for a leak in a hose (I think), and now we are looking at $3200 for repairs with the addition of a fuel injector something or another and a new vacuum hose. Yee Haw!!!
Reagan, who is three, is going back and forth digressing with potty training. The twins are still in diapers and I am so sick of poop!
Rylee has discovered the art of passive aggressiveness. I do believe she gives me the most gray hairs.
All I can do at this moment is pour a glass of wine and truly listen to this fabulous song by Darryl Worley…
Sounds Like Life To Me
Today, I ran to the store to get my birth control refilled, milk, and dog food before my husband flew away on a four day trip. I picked up the September issue of Real Simple. Tonight after the girls were all in bed, I turned on my I-Tunes and poured a glass of red wine. I started thumbing through the magazine and came across an article by A.J. Jacobs. The title was Stop the Madness! One man’s quest to go from manic multitasker to zen unitasker in one month flat. It grabbed my attention and I actually read the entire article! I have been going crazy trying to multitask and failing miserably. Earlier today, my husband and I were talking. I was trying to grasp at what is wrong with me. Do I just have general anxiety disorder, am I ADD, am I going through pre-menopause, do I have depression? We don’t know. It may just be overwhelming life with four toddlers and a husband away most of a week. My husband said it might just be sensory overload.
After reading the article, a light bulb popped on. Maybe I should stop trying to multitask. Who knows? Maybe it will help, maybe I’ll get crazier. I’m trying to learn how to love the ride, and basically willing to try about anything.
So starting tomorrow, I will put my energy into focusing on unitasking. We will see how it goes with six other two-legged and four-legged creatures underfoot. I will try to update daily. Some days may be lengthy paragraphs, some days maybe a sentence. Cut me some slack, and cheer me on!
P.S. A longer version of A.J. Jacob’s essay appears in his The Guinea Pig Diaries: My life as an Eperiment (Simon & Shuster) out this month. I plan on looking for it, sounds intriguing.
Hi yall! My name is Kari, Lucy, or Sasha. Lucy is fun and crazy, loves hanging out with her friends, she is young and full of life. Sasha is classy and mysterious, usually is busy solving crimes and acquiring intelligence. Kari is an almost 36 year old mother and wife, who says she is 29.
My husband Mark is a commercial airline pilot, my rock, my best friend. I stay at home and take care of our four little girls. Rylee is a sensitive, sweet, smart 4 year old. Reagan is a charming, charismatic, tomboy girly-girl 3 year old. Madison gives amazing hugs, a brute and delightful 2 year old. Jordan gives the best kisses, a sassy fearless 2 year old. The twins are TTTS (Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome) survivors. They were born 10 weeks early, Madison was 2 pounds 4.8 ounces, and Jordan 1 pound 13 ounces. You would never know looking at them today.
We have two male yellow labs, Bunker and Bogie. Rascal the male cat is a hurricane refugee who adopted us. The fish tank is currently void of any living creatures.
Yes, in my previous life I was a flight attendant and was a supervisor for a time. I miss it at times, but I wouldn’t trade what I am doing now.
I want to add that Kari does not have multiple personalities that she knows of. Sasha is a daydreaming disorder. Lucy is an old alter ego when I was a supervisor. She was created so that I could hang with other flight attendants outside of work and they could be themselves around me with no repercussions.
